Be still thy brain

Many people have advised me to accept and enjoy the recent creativity-induced insomnia that has encompassed both my mind and my sleeping habits. I tried to take everyone’s advice. Tried, and failed.

At least one night this month, I would really, really like to get a real night’s sleep.

I appreciate the advice given to me by friends and family, and trust me, I tried everything. The overzealous coffee drinking was the first thing I changed, and even though it was painful, it helped. I already exercise regularly, but I added an extra forty minutes to my regular regimen in an attempt to exhaust my body further. I also stayed up and wrote until the wee hours of morning on many occasions.

Despite all of these positive changes, I still can’t sleep. It’s truly exhausting trying to be exhausted.

As I lay in bed earlier this evening, my mind was literally racing. A new thought would form before the last one could finish, and this occurred for over an hour. My mind kept on going, going, going, and I had absolutely no idea when it would stop. Even now, as I’m writing this, I am thinking four or five other things simultaneously. It’s strange, and kind of frightening.

I think that my mind is changing. Taking a summer to be creative has been a blessing, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m glad that things like this are happening to me now, during the summer, when I don’t have anywhere specific to be the next day. I couldn’t imagine waking up, getting dressed, and hopping on a bus to make it to class after a night like this.

Sleep deprivation and moonlight writing sessions do have a positive aspect, however, and I just finished watching one of the summer’s best thunderstorms. For a moment, I thought the sky was actually going to open up and consume everything. Maybe someone in another world can’t sleep either, and the storm is their way of telling me that I’m not the only one sitting, writing, and contemplating at my computer at 1:30 a.m.

Or, maybe, I’m over-analyzing something as trivial as a thunderstorm. It is late, after all, and I am very, very tired...