Am I good enough?

At some point, every young person asks themselves the age old question: “am I good enough?” This question could be referring to anything. Maybe some guy is thinking about proposing to his girlfriend, and he has no idea if she’ll accept. Or, a woman could be applying for her first entry level position after university, and wonders if she will ever be able to compete against everyone else who has the same education and the same extracurricular experience. For me, the question of “am I good enough” popped up in my mind earlier today. I was working on a school assignment, trying to use reading week to get some work done, and it hit me. What if I never actually make it as a writer? What is all this is for nothing?

I’m sure some people are wanting to smack me upside the head and shout “grow up” in my ear right about now, but hear me out before you start to judge. It’s a hard, cold world out there, and no one really cares if i’m any good or not. One of the journalism instructors at RRC – Duncan – made a point during one of my first classes that really stuck with me. We were asked to write a biography about another student. My opening line was horrible, and I wrote down the date, time, and hospital where the person was born. Duncan told us that besides our mothers, no one really cares where and when we were born. It doesn’t mean anything to them. As harsh as that sounds, he’s totally right.

After I walk out the doors of Red River for the last time, no one cares if I succeed or not (I know you do, mom and dad, but you don’t count). There are thousands of other young people just like me who want the same thing... to make a living off of their writing. They might be better than me. So what do I do? Give up, hang my head and go get a “real” job?

I made a decision when I decided to take journalism in college. I said to hell with what everyone else thinks, and threw the safe route out the window. I’m almost finished my first year, and I have no regrets. Sure, i’m exhausted. Some days I am so tired I want to drop everything and run. Other days, like today, I feel that my head is so full of information it will explode. But I haven’t given up yet.

To answer my own question, this isn’t for nothing. Even if I don’t make it as exactly the kind of writer I want to be, I will find something that works. The world is hard, it is cold, but people make it every single day. I can be one of those people. I guess this blog is really no more than an attempt to talk myself out of being stressed out and frustrated. And... it worked.