This morning, a friend on Twitter posted the following: “I hate getting Facebook birthday reminders from friends who are dead. It’s creepy.”
Immediately, I responded with: “Ack! I really hate that too.”
I continued with my morning, but there was something about the brief Twitter exchange that I couldn’t erase from my mind. When I started to really think about it, I realized that I have wanted to write this blog post for a very long time…
Many people have the unfortunate experience of losing a loved one. Now, with social media being so prevalent in our world, the loved one who passed was probably a Facebook user. The family left behind is faced with the daunting and uncomfortable task of contacting Facebook, explaining the situation and asking for the profile to be removed.
No one wants to do that, and I can’t imagine it’s an easy process.
As a result, some families leave deceased Facebook profiles as they are. Friends can continue to post for days, months, or in some cases, years after the person has died. And, friends also receive pre-set updated from that person – including birthday reminders.
Currently, I am friends with two deceased Facebook users. I refuse to delete them, because I feel as though that action would dishonour their memories in some way. Eventually I will delete them, but for the moment I am stuck receiving their notifications.
This brings me to the question that lies at the heart of this blog post: Is it okay to ask the family of the deceased person to have the Facebook profile removed?
If I am not particularly close to the family, I wouldn’t ever think of asking. But what if the person who died was a best friend, a relative or an ex-lover?
I don’t know if there is a “right answer” to this question. I guess I just had to get that out.
In a way, it's like asking when is the right time to clean out the closet of a dead loved one.
ReplyDeleteThe difference is that many people, not just immediate family, have access to an online "closet."
That's very, very true...
ReplyDeleteOr how about everytime you telephone a friend and this person is not home, and you are faced with the answering machine message that was recorded by thier now-deceased spouse, someone who has been gone for 5 years? For some reason it creeps me out to hear this voice from beyond the grave, and I always hesitate before calling, simply because I do not want to listen to the message.
ReplyDelete