Bus etiquette for dummies (myself included)

Riding the bus is one of those things. I'm not sure what "thing" I'm even referring to, but riding the bus definitely qualifies. Sometimes it can be fun; other times it's a frustration. There are interesting people to talk to, and there are strange, quirky, or straight up frightening people that one attempts to avoid like the plague. I have become acquainted with all of the above, and feel like a better person for it. The one aspect of riding the bus that I still can't figure out, however, is when it is appropriate to offer my seat to someone else.

Exhibit A: The angry lady
I was taking the bus to school yesterday, and it was absolutely packed. Standing room was non-existent, and I was basically sitting in the lap of a gentleman with far to many shopping bags. As the bus made it's way down Pembina Highway, the crowd thinned out significantly. I was able to snag a seat, and did so without reservation.

A cute little senior citizen got on the bus at the next stop. As she made her way down the aisle, no one offered to give her a seat. Without really thinking about it, I jumped up, moved out of the way, and informed her there was a space available for her to sit. I then started walking towards the back of the bus where it was easier to stand.

"Hey!" I jumped. The cute little woman actually YELLED to get my attention. I turned around.

"Yes?"

"Are you calling me old?"

"I'm sorry?"

"OLD. You gave me your seat. You think I can't stand?" I didn't know what to say. My face was burning and everyone was staring at me. I was NOT calling her old, but in all honesty she IS much OLDER than I am. I thought I was being polite. Guess not.

I apologized to the woman who, I must point out, SAT IN THE SEAT I had vacated while still muttering under her breath about how rude the youth of today are. I tried to make myself invisible at the back of the bus, but everyone saw what happened. I made a very thorough ass of myself, and I thought I was simply following proper bus procedure.

Exhibit B: The Fake out
This was a few weeks ago, but I was hoping there would be an opportunity to write about it. Same bus, different time of day, still busy, and nowhere to sit. A woman with a very large stroller got on at a crowded stop. There was a blanket draped over the stroller, so I assumed her child was sleeping underneath. Roughly eight or nine people - myself included - moved out of the way so she could flip up one of the priority seats and stow her child properly. She didn't say "thank-you," and didn't even acknowledge the fact that many people moved so she could secure the stroller. I was basically sitting on someone's lap (again), but could still see what the woman was doing. She circled the stroller, lifted up the blanket, and proceeded to re-arrange her groceries. There was no child... The stroller was her shopping cart.

Now, this wouldn't normally bother me, but there were two things that made the situation worse...

1) The stroller was huge, and I mean HUGE. Two children could easily fit in that thing. Hell, I could fit in that thing.

2) When the woman wanted to exit the bus, she glared at everyone in her way and hollered "lady with a baby" to get people moving faster. I knew she didn't have a baby. SHE knew she didn't have a baby. It was just an excuse to get what she wanted faster. Ugh.

Both of the above examples are meant to illustrate my point that it is absolutely impossible to know for sure if one is doing the right thing when moving and offering their seat on a bus to someone else. The recipient - as far as I have seen - is gracious and appreciative most of the time, but my two recent incidents have made me wonder about the system as a whole. Should I stay put the next time a cute senior gets on the bus? That's someone's grandma, you know. Or, should I stare at every stroller and wonder if there really is a child in there? I don't have any answers, but I do know that I have a long summer of public transportation ahead of me. If I figure out what the proper procedure is, I'll be sure you let you know.